1. “I’m not a failure because I didn’t succeed. I’m a failure because I didn’t try.” - Kev
2. “Joan said - it was better to be kind than to be clever or good looking. I’m not clever or good looking. But I’m kind.” - Derek
3. “If pets aren’t allowed in heaven, I don’t want to go there, I’ll go where the pets are.” - Derek
4. “If you want to be happy for an hour, take a nap. If you want to be happy for a day, go fishing. If you want to be happy for a year, win the lottery. If you want to be happy for a lifetime, help people.” - Derek
5. "I've met people who do not believe in God, somes good, somes bad. I have met people who do believe in God, somes good, somes bad. So just be good." - Derek
6. “If you haven’t spoken someone for a long time, call them up, If you haven’t spoken to your mum , call her up. It’s never too late until its.“ - Derek
7. “Joan used to say: all you need is someone to love, something to do and something to wish for.“ - Derek
8. “Meaning of life? “The Orgasm, male orgasm… I don’t even understand the point of Female Orgasm at all.” - Kev
9. “So just be nice. That is the easiest thing, to be nice.” - Derek
10. “I’ve learnt a lot from animals. Animals is always giving their best… you never see a lazy ant.” - Derek
11. "...be nice to animals." - Derek
12. "I likes all cats...."
